What he seeks.

He walks among the everyday crowd,
works six days a week,
hanging out of the train, music playing loud,
he doesn't know what he seeks.

A day at work, a night with friends,
a walk down the street,
striving every time to prove a point,
that inside, he is not weak.

With just books and games as company,
some called him a geek,
while others around made fun of him,
they thought he was a freak.

There were the days when the days grew dim,
and his tears would start to leak,
and looking at him, alone down below,
the heavens would start to weep.

Even though he walks among the crowd,
and works six days a week,
he's not quite the same as everyone else,
he doesn't know what he seeks.

Publish Post

Back to the square one, again.

I've been thinking of what to write,
waiting for my thoughts and imagination to take flight,
so here i sit with a paper and pen,
just to realize I'm back to the square one again.

I'm tired of thinking day and night,
wondering how to resolve this thing without a fight,
feeling like conversing there and then,
but never ending it, back to the square one again.

I may not have the wisdom or the light,
to guide me though this dark night,
but how do i get to kindle it when,
I know I'll be back to the square one again?

All my questions you answer, alright,
but maybe i need to have my own fight,
but whats the point of finding solutions when,
you just know, you will be back to the square one again.

A countless conversations both day and night,
about the same thing and what's wrong and right,
I'm still left like a desert, parched without rain,
back to the square one again.

We , the Indians.

This is for you. My city went through something yesterday. Something uncalled for. Something, that will be remembered by most of my people for a long time. They will not forgive. They will not forget. These wounds don’t heal soon. And we won’t let the bleeding stop.

My people . Mark these words. You have hurt them. You have tried again and again to break us, to make us loose our spirit. To make us feel alone and scared. I do not know who you are. I have not seen your faces. It maybe that you have a good reason for what you have done, maybe you do not. You might have been picked up on, wronged, persecuted for some event you were alien to. Maybe you are fighting for a perceived right. Maybe it is religion. Maybe it’s the money. Maybe it’s not.

Whatever your reasons maybe, what you have done is make us bleed. You have taken a few of us hostages, you have let a few of us slowly bleed onto oblivion and some of us you have just blown up with your explosions, into a void where the rest of us cannot get to them. Worse still, some of us you have left hanging at the death’s door, wondering if our names will be called. However there is one thing common amongst all of us. You have left us scarred. Some of us physically and some of us emotionally. Things will never be the same again.

Let me make one thing clear. We, all of those who you have hurt, are not just a country, but a family. I have read the pledge on the first page of my school textbooks, the one that states India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters. Yes , we do fight, we do quarrel and sometimes raise our hands on each other. We have our own complications. But then which family does not? Look at us. You may think we are different. We have different hues, languages , behavior, accent , faiths and temperaments. We are a diverse family, demographically as well as geographically and I do not deny this. We have our own issues and agendas. But mark my words. We may not be one, but we are the same. A family.

We fight amongst ourselves, but we do not entertain others to interfere in our family affairs. Yes, we will settle out our petty quarrels as well as our big feuds. We never asked for an arbitrator, and yes we do not welcome external aggression. For the name sake we are divided into a million communities, but frankly, it’s not about being a ‘Marathi manoos’, a ‘Bhaiya’ , a ‘Gujrati’ or a ‘Punjabi’ or any other names we give each other or ourselves. It’s not about being a Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian , Zoroastrian, Jew, Buddhist or the hundred other faiths we follow. To you were are and should be, just ‘INDIANS’. And as I have told you, we are a family. You hurt anyone in the family. You hurt all of us. Oh, and we don’t take getting hurt kindly.

Yesterday my mothers and sisters have twisted uncomfortably in their beds wondering if their son’s and husbands , brothers and friends will all come home safe. The guests to my family, they have been hurt too. We have been up all night, jamming the mobile networks to check up on all our near and dear ones. You have spoilt our sleep, our peace and mostly our kindness. My sleep has been destroyed by your activities. We have lost our family members. How do we forgive? Or how do we forget?

Yet I do not know your face. I do not know why you have done this. Maybe I want to know this. Maybe I don’t. However I do know that you have not succeeded. Our family members have died due to your actions. More of them died trying to stand up to you. That’s what a family is all about. None of those who tried to stop you wondered what faith or country the hostages were. None of the people who helped rush the wounded on the streets to the hospitals, or let others into their home for shelter wondered if the person they are taking in was a Ram, Khan , Singh or Richard. They just knew that their family was in danger. They did what a family does. And today, while the conflict is still on, most of my family members are out already, doing their daily chores. Their jobs, their work, or just taking care of the rest of us. They will spread this message. We stand together, we stand tall.


We have each other’s back, no matter what initial impressions about us say. And we do not break that easy. We refuse to do so. Not now, never.

I Don't need you

I guess i'v made it obvious enough,
our conversations have been but a few,
And in case you got it all wrong let me spell it out,
I Don't need you.

You've been there to pull me down,
The whole deal stinks like a public Loo,
And just on record i'm repeating myself,
I Don't need you.

When ever i tried to be happy and glad,
You've forced me to feel blue,
And just in case it didn't quite register,
I Don't need you

A hundred people about us whisper,
and wonder why outta proportion this situation blew,
And this, yes this is for their special benefit,
I Don't need you

And though this is not addressed,
You probably know who i refer too,
heck , if your still reading this pathetic excuse for a poem,
One last time , for your benefit ... I Don't need you

The Silly love song!!

They think that I'm going crazy,
that I'm obsessed with you,
I couldn't care less about that baby,
Since I'm in love with you.

When you're around the sun comes out,
The sky turns a lovely blue,
So it's been spring all this time,
Since i'v been lovin you!

Without your smile the day goes dark,
The flowers refuse to bloom,
And a little voice in my head whispers,
"It's all because of you".

A hundred ways to make you mine,
I'v tried out quite a few,
The last i knew i gave up Olives,
All cus I love you!

They think that i'm going crazy,
That I'm obsessed with you,
I couldn't care less about that baby,
Since I'm in love with you.

The Tempest of change

Another day and nothing's changed at all,
The world whirls around as i endlessly fall,
I look around wildly but there's no one to call,
And then i find myself , back to a brick wall.


No deed too great,
no worry too small,
I don't want to beg no more,
No, i don't want to crawl.
It's been a long time coming,
But now its here to stay,
And in the darkness i see it,
a faint glimmer or light far away.

While through the Darkness it is that i wade,
as the storm ravages and the world fades,
looks like i'm finally getting out of my checkered past,
and moving forward to meet my Destiny at last.

Beautiful day!!!!

It's been long enough i say,
since that long gone new year's day,
a blurred memory, a shadowy past,
though the images just don't seem to last.

I've been waiting for you all this while,
standing patiently at your corner with a ready smile,
Shivering silently, drenched by the rain,
looking out for you, till the lights began to wane.

Beyond reason, muting the pain,
the flashbacks make me go insane,
the blur of your presence , the heaven scent,
but maybe I'm just stuck too long in the moment.

I've re-opened this book today,
and I see that most of your pages have torn away,
and it's making me smile as i pen this down and say,
Good lord , today's a beautiful day!

The Four letter word

FLASHBACK

One of the most over-hyped words in the world today is probably the four letter word as we know it. A hundred thousand people claim to be in it, a few million here and there claim to have felt it and a few billion believe in it... The rest however believe that it is a purely hypothetical and convenient arrangement. This is where my story started. Just another morning. And that’s when I saw her.

The world stood still, as time seemed to rapidly diminish into immateriality. There she stood, as fresh as the early morning dew on the petals of an exotic flower, enticing exciting and endearing all at one time. A sparkle in the light brown eyes, enough to set your heart ablaze when you looked at her, and yet amongst that warmth , when her soft gaze met yours, a chill up your spine , up to your heart in a flash , like a cold fist nestling around the embers of it’s warmth. Refusing to melt, refusing to let go, yet infuriating the blaze instead of extinguishing it. There she was the angel of my eyes. Standing in front of me in person.

You would expect. This to be the most comforting thing in the world, but frankly in this world, nothing is as it seems. Her aura shone though her mortal presence, and she glimmered in many a brilliant lights. A scene like which you have never seen. A subtle aroma of her fragrance clouded my mind, made me loose my mind. Everyone knew I was in it…. Over my head. But me, I realized it too late. When the lights had dimmed, she had gone, I had never got her. Flashed passed, a distant memory. A midsummer’s night’s dream.

And that is exactly where I stand at the moment; In that peculiar condition, as if awaking from a deep slumber. I wow to find out what magic this is. This four letter word. It did things to me I never though possible and it is one mystery I will unravel. In an effort to bring to light the truth, I shall play investigator trying to get to the bottom of this mystery. It is a long dark and dangerous journey. Where this will lead, who knows? And yet, it has to be done. The future beckons. Nothing is going to be the same again.

I write this as my diary as I decide to set out on this journey. It is a dark and rarely trodden path. I might come back, changed, permanently scarred, if at all I return. I shall however appreciate any sort of feedback or questions as I traverse this path. The journey has begun. I set out now.

The End

Looking out of the window far away,
The sun sinks low, the lights fade,
But as the brilliant orange fades to grey,
A restless mind begins to stray.

Unable to focus on the task at hand,
Remembering the fairy with her magic wand,
The dazzling eyes, the brilliant smile,
To get over it all would take a while.

Along the road the ocean roars,
As it mirrors his fury upon the sea shore,
The wind screams, the heavens weep,
In the form of rain its tears sweep.

In his head is a deafening sound,
Oblivious to what is going on around.
Narrowly missing by a speeding car,
Lost in her thoughts, so near yet so far.

Amidst the darkness the light he finds,
It calms his heart, clears his mind,
A different road, from now he would tread,
His story with that princess had just end.

Most memorable quotes from my life

A Compilation of the most memorable original quotes in the recent time in my life:-

1. " Who took your interview 'KB' ? If it was me , i would not have taken you only" - Samir Parmar ( Car ride back from Technova , 2008 )

2. " I love her , but i cannot trust her, you know what I mean dude." - Shardul Malviya ( Juhu Mocha 2008 )

3. " Censored" - MU. (Mittal Towers, 8th Floor , 2008 )

4. "You will probably end up convincing her before you can convince me anyway." - Hemali Rajkotia ( EMCO Thane , 2008 )

5. "Dude , for you with her , it's like standing next to someone else's Ferrari, you can feel it , see it , but someone else actually gets to enter and ride it." - Aditya Ajgaonkar ( Shushil Apartments , 2008 )

6. " I'm a jerk of the first order" - Aditya Ajgaonkar ( Telephone conversation , 2008 )

7. "Don't you have any excuse except Mood nahin hai? Amazing man , so on your suhagraat , when your wife comes into the room Mood Nahin Hai, bolega kya?" - Chirag Gandhi , Aditya Ajgaonkar , Dhruv Killawalla , Shardul Malviya (Barista , 2005)

8. "You have rooms in the Meredian , and you invite your friends along! Are you frikkin outta your mind? Get a chick, idiot."- Chirag gandhi ( Le Royale Meredian,2008 )

9. ""Don't worry bro.... I wont let you die a virgin :- Anwar Abid ( FacebooK 2008 )

10. "Can you guys atleast pretend to be interested in the subject instead of playing X and O right in front of me on the second bench? It's not the best for my morale during the 7 AM lecture you know."- ( whatshername Commerce professor , N.M. College, 2006 )

The Champions of this world!

People often ask us, they often wonder,
What makes us who we are, how we fight lightning and thunder,
Through out the day and into the night,
Brave hearts, all of us, defying our plight.

Though hardships litter our way,
For god’s sake, we have a lousy pay,
Perfection our will and knowledge our might,
We are heroes, setting wrong things right.

An exile of three years and a half,
Full of work, studies, exams (Ugh!) and laughs,
And though the end seems very far,
In the end, trust me, we’ll give you a lift in our Mercedes cars.

Chartered Accountants is what we will be,
For yes that is our destiny,
Though ‘Articles’ are what we are called today,
“We’re the Champions of the word”, is what we say.

The angel in my eyes

The dark clouds have not yet broken,
It’s been quite a while ,
And through the darkness I see you,
The angel in my eyes.

The darkness threatens to engulf me,
The sun refuses to shine,
And yet I walk this stony path,
Guided by your light.

Distant but never too far,
You occupy every thought of mine ,
And yet when I work at getting to you,
It seems a million miles.

Your radiant face beckons me,
I’m driven by your smile,
And yet you seem too far away,
Far away from my life.

A hundred voices in my head,
Wonder how I survive,
That's when I smile and point at you,
The angel in my eyes.

The time of your life

'Beautiful girl! Stay with me!'- ( Beautiful girl - INXS )

He echoed the words in a low murmur as he adjusted the music volume, walking alone down the street, alone in the crowd. The night pressed around him , engulfing him in its wet embrace, moist, yet pleasant. He picked up pace, eager to return home , tired , exhausted and weak after yet another day.


An ascent up the foot bridge, a glance at the indicator and the flight of stairs down his right hand side led him onto the platform.
'Good timing'
A minute left for the train.
The world swung into motion, He stood still . It felt good.



" Hanging by a moment here with you!" - ( Hanging by a Moment - Lifehouse )

An occasional light in the darkness crawled past, the wind blew through his hair, the music played in the background. A change in pace , a familiar sound of the train changing track. The world sped by as the lyrics engulfed his mind.



'Bad idea'
The next station appeared , materializing rapidly in the dark , its lights shining brightly in the darkness , growing life size every passing moment and yet the world refused to slow down. " The fast track eh?" he mused. A faint smile appeared on his lips.



'I wish I could know if the directions that I take and all the choices that I make, won't end up all for nothing' ( Crawling in the dark - Hoobstank )



A brilliant flash rapidly engulfed by the darkness ,illuminated platform tiles weaving a rapid pattern and then a rumble over a bridge. He had made a mistake and it had not bothered him the least.

" Is this what i have become? "



And I’ve got nothing to say ,I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face - ( Somewhere i belong - Linkin park )


The station loomed up into the distance, and then sped past. his smile matured into a smug grin. " Reality check? Have i missed out on my actual destination trying to get there quickly? Is this what bothers me? Is this why i feel low without any apparent reason? Or am i attaching too much importance to something that i don't need to? "

Far away, This ship is taking me far awayFar away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die - ( Starlight - Muse )

Seconds lengthen into light years when thoughts go reflective. The mind goes ballistic and all reason fails. Quicksand - The more you struggle , the more it engulfs you.

He looks up as the next station swings past him. " Are things out of my control here? Can't i stop? Was my fate sealed the second i strayed off track? Did i calculate wrong attempting to reach my destination early? Is this a one way street? I know where i stop next. I'v seen it coming the second i realised i was on this track. But does that change a thing? My destination has been overshot. My plans have come crashing down around me.


Is this the result of willful negligence? Will i ever know what prompted me forget to look before i leap? The time that has rushed bye will never come back to me now. Will i be able to undo what i have done?

I don't want to be the one, Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused - ( Breaking the habit - Linkin Park )

Mental battles are best left unexplored. They hurt. He could feel a tight fist clench his heart questioning many of his dubious decisions. When the blow falls , it falls hard. In a state of daze , loosing against himself he looks up. The train is gone. He is on the open street. He wonders why he did not catch a train back. He is down , in the very depths of surrender.


A falling star , Least i fall alone ( It ends tonight - The all American rejects )


A disturbed mind is no armor , a weakened confidence no helm , a broken will no weapon and shame is certainly no livery when you face yourself and your conscience in an open combat. You loose. Or you loose. Or you win and yet.... it is never complete. And yet if you do not face your rival , the threat remains. The threat of extinction. The fear of loosing what ever you stand for.
Even Against yourself.



I walk this empty street, On the Boulevard of broken dreams - ( Boulevard of broken dreams - Greenday )



A walk down the road. Déjà vu. Crossroads. Decisions. He looks up . Why? why was he walking in the direction opposite to that of his house? He had been here before, how ever at a different time , in a different situation , a different person. But times had changed. It was no longer the same. The corner had never seemed so dark. In fact the corner seemed to be blindingly bright. She was there.



I don't believe you, you're not the truth! ( Pretty Woman -Roy Orbison )



And yet there he was... a believer. A false moment , a random meeting , nothing that made sense. Those eyes ,the ones he would never forget , the half smile , the set hair. The crazy fun! The late night talks , his feelings for her. How she had rocked his world and how his world revolved around her anyway. The millions of jokes he cracked everyday, just to annoy her so that he could make it up to her later! The magic. How he had adored her! Missed her when he was sad , and pined for her when he was happy. How they had laughed together.... and not let each other cry ever!

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight - ( Iris - Goo Goo dolls )

The subtle flirting sometimes , or the not so subtle hitting on more or less every other second! Footsie under the library table and the first kiss ever! The first kiss , that made everything else so irrelevant at that moment. Her innocence, her care!

The sea face was over in a flash. The memories were livid. He could feel her near him.... her aura surrounding him..... he closed his eyes.



But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you. - ( Your Beautiful - James Blunt )


And it had got over. He din't know why . It just dint seem to matter how hard he had tried. Everything had broken like a promise , shattered like a dream , stuck like a record... playing the same old song. Of how it had just got over, and nothing he said had managed to change it. He had immersed himself in his work , in his family and his friends but the feeling just had gone...probably never to come back.

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel - ( Lips of an Angel - Hinder )

The rain started pouring down the spray wetting his face. With a start he looked around , the showrooms flashed bye as he stared out into the night.
The bus rolled to a halt and he got off. His feet raw from all the walking he had done. Every step seemed to hurt , each more than the last.


It's just a moment, This time will pass - ( Stuck in a moment - u2 )

'Maybe it was meant to be , maybe we were never meant to be , maybe I'll have a fresh start. Maybe I'll get another chance.' a string of maybe's ran through his head. As he approached the doorway he stopped. He looked up . Smiled. The lyrics of the song ran though his head.


Everything was all right in this world. Well. Almost.

Life just isn't

Life , It just isn't.





A hundred thoughts go around in my head wondering about life.

I've been remembering this line " Life just isn't " quite a bit. And it started making me think a lot. I usually hate thinking , because its often caused unwanted results , agony and complicated decisions. But this time i guess it was just meant to be.

A lot of thought went into putting this down and i believe it has clarified a lot of things for me.

Life isn't about worrying. It has never helped anyone and probably never will.

Life isn't about being scared , its about facing your worst fears.

Life Isn't about your worst fears , its about conquering them.

Life isn't about 'conquests over ', its about 'reconciliation with'.

Life isn't about reconciliation , its about utilizing your chances.

Life isn't about the chances you got , but the opportunities you took.

Life isn't about opportunities that were lost , but the appreciation of what you have.

Life isn't about being content with what you have , its about ambition.

Life isn't about pure ambition, its about keeping your feet on the ground.

Life isn't about staying on the ground, but taking flight.

Life isn't about flying high, its about setting your sights higher.

Life isn't JUST about setting your sights higher but also your essence intact.


The essence of life is not about making compromises , its about living your life on your terms.

Living on your life on your terms does not include forgetting other around you.

Remeber your parents , they gave you your life.

Remember that things change , people change , change is the only constant.

But all that can change if you change the way you look at it.

Which brings us back to you.

You are important. You are powerful. You are empowered. You do not need to change. You need to evolve. You always have a choice. You can be better than anyone you want. You do not need to better anyone. You can beat the benchmark. Infact you can be the benchmark. Hey , YOU ARE THE BENCHMARK. Recognize that in you and feel strong and see how beautiful life is.
That is life.



Feel the magic. Every time you make a person smile you create magic. You are a magician.


Are you smiling now?

That Lovin feelin!

So just when you thought things don't get random , or funny they get erm.. well, complicated. Yes i'm talking about that 'lovin' feelin! Yeah!

Whats wrong with the world around me? Everyone seems to be bitten by the 'lub' bug.

Is it the rain? Is the ambiance , or is it just a freak coincidence that everyone i know seems to be falling for someone or the other.

*Note:- Everyone DOES NOT include Shardul , well because he is immune. It does not include Chirag , well because of 'N' number of issues plaguing his class life ( Yes CAT classes can do things for a person's social life ) . Krunal seems to be in love , but then stock market as an object of affection just does not count. As for Dhruv, well he is not included. Just. No reason. Sue me.


Ahhh , back to the 'Love Shmuv' topic.

It's an epidemic i tell you , which is at the moment leaving an extraordinary number of girls with thier hearts broken and a greater number of guys , well just broke. Hey , dont look at me with those accusatory eyes , i say it the way i see it. Not that things remain the same. The same thing that used to be taken as a compliment a few years back is taken as 'Hitting on" as of today. ( Confirmed it within the last 24 Hours , used the exactly same line on this real cute friend of mine which i had used 'normally' on another five years back. ( Footnote:- Yes we are just F.R.I.E.N.D.S , and that too not the 'jhoot moot' ka friendship)

The result was startling.

She called me a flirt.

Fancy that.

Me?

A Flirt?

Haw! ( Thats a sound effect )

Pish ! ( Another one )

Not possible , I mean hey , its me!

I dont flirt?

heck I don't flirt!

I dont even know what flirt means!

come to think of it i don't know how to spell 'flirt' either.

It's all a big mistake i tell you, it's the love epidemic , this mistakening of a normal compliment to be flirting.

I mean all i did was say ( amongst other undisclosed things )- "Hey! Your lookin very pretty today!"

Now , is that not a good thing to say?

Talk about it. I tell you i'm very misunderstood. Besides, hey , Love's in the air!

I'v been lucky enough to escape it till now , but frankly i'd implore all my friends to watch out.

Spread the message! Not the Disease!

I'm bringing drama back!

Welcome one , welcome all. Please be seated in those wonderful chairs you got right in front of your monitors. Grab a bag of chips , or a box of cookies , sip on a juice or a cola. Relax. And never doubt my hospitality again. (ps. do leave comments behind)

Oh yes i'm bringing drama back. Selling anything today is a lot easier when you have the words free on it. Or sex for that matter. Or a rather obvious combination of both of 'em. ( Source , some damn newspaper article). So basically drama needs a comeback . And I'm hired on a futile fight to combat free sex. Oh and DO , please DO confirm that sarcasm sells.

Oh the content of this blog is not meant to be obscene , or offend anyone. but sometimes these things do happen. In case of any such unpleasant unilateral incidents , do avoid taking me to court.

Besides , reading this blog is subject to inherent to standard risks. Frustration , anger , irritation and an urge to manhandle me might be a few of the symptoms of being a prey to this blog. And please take this very seriously.

Legal disputes if any will be subject to the jurisdiction of the non existant local court of google land. So dont even think of it.

Besides , madness takes it toll. Please tender exact change.