Abstract

Knocking on the door on a cold winters day,
six months already done, but still six months away,
The hustle bustle in this humdrum life still can be felt,
but then again you can feel the Ice melt.

The cold is gone, the sun is in.
it's too bright to ignore, you know you can't win.
the storm rages outside and ravages all thats there,
it's quite calm inside, silence reigns here.

Doves take the messages across,
some make it through, others are quite lost,
pigeons are but pigeons, they can't understand why doves,
are so keen to take them up on their turf.

Away in the darkness a steady heart thumps,
hearing it beat can give you goosebumps,
it working hard, draining out the despair,
No longer alone, it can feel the call of another one out there.

Flashblacks.

Sitting in a dark corner,
Shadows on my mind,
Running through my memories,
I wonder what I'll find.

Grains of sand on a beach of hate,
a few castles blown away by a twist of fate,
An ocean loud, vast and deep,
fed by the tears of skies that weep.

A lonely pawn upon a black tile,
A knight taking him out with a triumphant smile,
while the queen looks on and the king stands still,
Looking of of the castle's window sill.

A childish act of innocence,
ramblings that just don't make any sense,
a safety net cast out by some friends,
as sanity totters upon the fence.

A checkered board of a vivid past,
memories that forever last,
a poster of hope that no longer holds fast,
uncertainty and doubt as the die is cast.

Candlelight.

It's dark in here,
you need some light,
Ignite this candle and hold it up,
and see the darkness take flight.

Cobwebs hang from the ceilings,
while champagne flows off the glass,
no breeze blows, the air is still,
a thick carpet of dust has amassed.

The windows have cracked and yet are black,
they won't let the sunlight through,
a broken chair and a weathered desk,
and unused bottles of expired glue.

Papers have scattered everywhere,
the paperweight still rolls on the floor,
and yet now that you have candle lit,
Everything is basking in it's glow.

A ray of light it all it takes,
A hope to survive and flourish,
so get out the broom and clear out your mind,
It's about time you won this skirmish.

Of Destruction

A hazel feather in the gusty wind,
floats down to rest upon my shoulder,
And wishes to speak to me, of destruction.

I ask him what it is that he knows,
about human tendencies and egos,
those that ultimately lead, to destruction.

I ask him why is it that everyone throws,
what ever they have right out of the window,
and then they all complain of destruction.

Why is it that lies and deceit,
brings good down to it's knees.
And leaves in it's wake, destruction.

Mutely the feather floats away as it must,
spurred on by the powerful gust,
And leaves me mulling about destruction.

Killing myself Slowly

A breath of fresh air,
in a dusty room,
a wave of hope
and yet there is gloom,
What is it that I am doing?
I probably will never know,
I'm killing myself slowly
And will forever more.

A knife of dread,
piercing a dull throbbing heart,
tearing it slowly,
I see the pieces fall apart.
Skeletons tumble out of the closet,
into my eyes they stare,
No blood no gore,
There's just emptiness there.

A wound for every decision made,
slashed wrists with every lie ever said,
the world stands still as the clock ticks,
a gaping hole where ever the conscience pricks.
A broken bone for every choice made wrong,
In a splint for anyone ever wronged,
A battered mind , none worse for there wear,
And then finally me, slowing killing myself in despair.


ps:- The myself in this note is a reference to the sense of 'being me'. This is not to be mistaken for anything else.

Images - You'll never be alone

You’ve stood tall in these stormy streets, looked fear in the eye,
It’s pouring and you’re by yourself, you keep wondering why,
When every mans an island amidst this sea called life,
You’ve carried the baton forward, now you lead this strife.
Now light up this ready torch, see the flames touch the sky,
Set fire to fuel those wonderful dreams and see the nightmares die.
I know it seems difficult, this dark and dreary task,
When no one seems to care what lies beneath your mask,
Though sometimes you feel helpless and out of sync with this world,
Feeling all alone and breathless as this storm unfurls,
Though there are no knocks on the door, no rings on the phone,
You’ll never be alone, No; you’ll never be alone.

Forget those steps that lead this way, ignore the dial tone,
Look for a place inside your heart and make yourself at home,
When questions unasked pop up, dump them into the waste can,
Bask in the rays of hope and work up a good tan,
This life is too long to be a battle, too short to be a war,
It’s upto you to find yourself, decide what to live for,
When all tell you what not to do, and what is it that you’re to do,
It’s time you filtered out those thoughts and appreciate those few,
Make albums in your head and slideshows in your heart,
Feel them reach out to you, from near and from far,
See them touch your soul and that’s when you’ll know,
That you’ll never be alone, No, You’ll never be alone.

Images - Waves in the desert.

Tiny grains of sand in an ocean of dust,
my search for you still went on,
those swirling waves in a desert that calm,
signified the lull before a storm.

It'd been a while that I'd been out here,
wandering around that landscape bare,
It's my eyes that told the story of my fears,
But no one cared enough to look there.

It's been this way for a long long time,
I did not know what I felt,
I always thought that I am fine,
little did I know with what my heart dealt.

I wrote a few poems, some on love,
Some on the life I thought I'd have,
Some on those random thoughts that plagued my mind,
But never really realizing why they felt so sad.

In the twilight did I walk this shadowy path,
Seeing the world in Black, white and grey,
Knowing little about what it is that I missed out on,
wandering on, going astray.

And then you came like a dazzling sun,
And swept away those grays,
with a brilliant smile and deep brown eyes,
you brought in a bright new day.

Though all I do falls short of signifying what you are,
even unconsciously I dare say,
Try all I may, to avoid it, but even then,
I fall for you just a little more. Everyday.


And yes, while at it,
Consider this a sacrifice of my Dignity in a public forum.