Killing myself Slowly

A breath of fresh air,
in a dusty room,
a wave of hope
and yet there is gloom,
What is it that I am doing?
I probably will never know,
I'm killing myself slowly
And will forever more.

A knife of dread,
piercing a dull throbbing heart,
tearing it slowly,
I see the pieces fall apart.
Skeletons tumble out of the closet,
into my eyes they stare,
No blood no gore,
There's just emptiness there.

A wound for every decision made,
slashed wrists with every lie ever said,
the world stands still as the clock ticks,
a gaping hole where ever the conscience pricks.
A broken bone for every choice made wrong,
In a splint for anyone ever wronged,
A battered mind , none worse for there wear,
And then finally me, slowing killing myself in despair.


ps:- The myself in this note is a reference to the sense of 'being me'. This is not to be mistaken for anything else.

Images - You'll never be alone

You’ve stood tall in these stormy streets, looked fear in the eye,
It’s pouring and you’re by yourself, you keep wondering why,
When every mans an island amidst this sea called life,
You’ve carried the baton forward, now you lead this strife.
Now light up this ready torch, see the flames touch the sky,
Set fire to fuel those wonderful dreams and see the nightmares die.
I know it seems difficult, this dark and dreary task,
When no one seems to care what lies beneath your mask,
Though sometimes you feel helpless and out of sync with this world,
Feeling all alone and breathless as this storm unfurls,
Though there are no knocks on the door, no rings on the phone,
You’ll never be alone, No; you’ll never be alone.

Forget those steps that lead this way, ignore the dial tone,
Look for a place inside your heart and make yourself at home,
When questions unasked pop up, dump them into the waste can,
Bask in the rays of hope and work up a good tan,
This life is too long to be a battle, too short to be a war,
It’s upto you to find yourself, decide what to live for,
When all tell you what not to do, and what is it that you’re to do,
It’s time you filtered out those thoughts and appreciate those few,
Make albums in your head and slideshows in your heart,
Feel them reach out to you, from near and from far,
See them touch your soul and that’s when you’ll know,
That you’ll never be alone, No, You’ll never be alone.

Images - Waves in the desert.

Tiny grains of sand in an ocean of dust,
my search for you still went on,
those swirling waves in a desert that calm,
signified the lull before a storm.

It'd been a while that I'd been out here,
wandering around that landscape bare,
It's my eyes that told the story of my fears,
But no one cared enough to look there.

It's been this way for a long long time,
I did not know what I felt,
I always thought that I am fine,
little did I know with what my heart dealt.

I wrote a few poems, some on love,
Some on the life I thought I'd have,
Some on those random thoughts that plagued my mind,
But never really realizing why they felt so sad.

In the twilight did I walk this shadowy path,
Seeing the world in Black, white and grey,
Knowing little about what it is that I missed out on,
wandering on, going astray.

And then you came like a dazzling sun,
And swept away those grays,
with a brilliant smile and deep brown eyes,
you brought in a bright new day.

Though all I do falls short of signifying what you are,
even unconsciously I dare say,
Try all I may, to avoid it, but even then,
I fall for you just a little more. Everyday.


And yes, while at it,
Consider this a sacrifice of my Dignity in a public forum.