Melting Moments - The one that got away.

I'm holding on to my breath as I try to pen this down,
a bit nervous and hesitant, but I guess I've had to come around,
been wanting to shout it out, say all the things unsaid,
Not knowing what held me back or what caused me to be afraid.

I've been holding on to my thoughts, largely comprising of you,
waiting with a bated breath and now I feel like such a fool.
Thinking, planning and imagining of how it would be,
of how I could be with you and how we both could be free,
Loose these chains that bind me and do the same to you,
Drive away into the sunset as the people in the movies do,
It takes no more than a pin prick to make somebody bleed,
I've bled like a river, when is it that you will pay any heed?
I'm smiling onto prophesies that spell out my doom,
Filling my head with your photos to try to drive out the gloom,
Going about my days as if nothing is wrong,
unable to banish the thought of you from my mind for long,
Unable to tell you all, fearing that I'll scare you away,
So I pretend to just be with you, without having anything to say,
It's something that I shall carry with me, live with it all my life,
pack away in a corner of my heart, least it create a strife,
I shall have fond memories of you, the girl that got away,
For darkness is coming for me, I don't know how much longer is it that I can wait.

Fleeting designs

A bright light shining in a blackened room,
sets for the scene, a contrast stark,
I sit with it, the table beside,
wondering why it's all still dark.

Around me the world swirls,
a blur of black and grey,
as money evaporates and toys pile up,
but nothing ever really stays.

Why do I squander all that I have,
and pawn to the devil my soul?
Why do I support with deed this vice?
Am I that far gone from ever feeling whole?

I walk the line and balance it out,
but yet the cable still sways,
upon the tight rope I hold my breath,
Wondering if my balance will stay.

Icy tentacles wind around my heart,
They are so cold it burns,
the charred remains of something that once beat,
the faint warmth of innocence spurned.

I stand apart in that room,
the only thing bathed in the dark,
those robes that bound, those lies profound,
all gone, the reality, now it's stark.

A dagger to a vein I take,
the blood flows away into the night,
with it I wish my shadows fade,
for one last time, let me see the light.

The Angel

I felt a bit dark and gloomy today,
So I decided that in my room I must stay,
So upon those lines I acted then,
and sat in my room, thinking for a moment.

It was a bit dull and lonely there,
of this I became soon aware,
So I said lets try something new,
something done by but a few.

I crossed my legs and erased my frown,
and prayed that an angel be sent down,
life has had many secrets now and then,
Won't hurt me know a few of them.

There was a flash of light divine,
the room suddenly smelt of fragrant wine,
I opened my eyes and saw here there,
an angel sent down from heaven, I swear!

Her eyes were brown and so was her hair,
I could see cuts on her, everywhere,
What cruelty is this why this pain?
How could god let it remain?

She smiled at me as she read my thoughts,
She said to me, don't look so distraught,
These cuts on me are all for you,
Through dark nights and storms I have surrounded you,
Made sure when the hammer falls it is I who soften the blow,
When the divine judgement comes, it is me who executes them below,
You know not your luck you mortal man,
even if people try to hurt you no one can,
I bleed for you happily with a smile on my face,
all your fears in your sleep I erase,
You have run away from things and they have chased you afar,
But when they come close to you, I have made them stay far,
I love you with all my might, it's you who do not believe,
you will shout out to god as you cry in your sleep,
gently i'll come and put you in my lap,
I'll protect you from the lightning, mute the thunder clap,
I don't care what you deserve or what you do and when,
for as soon as you need me, I'll be at your side in a moment,
Never feel alone for I watch over you all day,
at nights till your asleep, I never go away,
Watching over you is a full time task,
when you sing in your shower or make your way to class,
I'm there always besides you wether you know it or not,
And i shall come and numb the pain when it hurts you a lot.
And every time I protect you, one cut I will get,
But never fear, I do this job without any regret,
Just be brave, be honorable, care for all those who you can,
For not everyone has angels, some are left to the care of man.
For though you are blessed and I wipe your tears,
I've made you what you are today so that you can wipe away people's fears,
Try stand for all thats good, just and fair,
From cheating others, I know you will forbear,
And I shall willingly take them, carry these scars with pride,
when ever it hurts, I'll take it in my stride.

Just remember what you have been sent down for my child divine,
Do not let it go in vain, this pain of mine,
and when at last your time comes and you breathe your last breath,
I shall stand beside you, even in your death,
And as you ascend to the gates of heaven,
I shall be waiting and you shall see me again.



I heard all this and my tears I dried,
I thanked god with all my might,
For I knew now, what I didn't know then,
that someone was watching out for me from heaven.

A writer's block

It's been a while, It's held me back,
this temptation that I have had to write,
It's a bad time to run out of words,
When parts of your mind are locked in a fight.

I can feel the words being dragged along,
so loath they are to come out,
I've been meaning to write, I promise it's been too long,
but all i've done is scream and shout.

It's been a murky time in this world of mine,
Alternating between a desert and a marsh,
One dry the other wet, but both benign,
my demeanor now exposed as just a farce.

These smiles that I gave have cost me dear,
Who ever said that they came free?
for everyone of them masks some fear,
Why did I think they would spare me?

I was so sure about my thoughts and things,
Now it is all but just a murky haze,
While the world celebrates and the choirs sing,
I walk around in a state of daze.

I want to let go of these thoughts that bind,
But they hold me by my hands,
So now again I walk around dragging my weight,
a landlord, now bereft of all his lands.

Maybe that day will come sometime,
and the light within I'll see,
until then I'll tell myself that i'm fine,
Just fine, being me.

My insanity

Slinking in the shadows,
on a warm summers night,
sulking behind the petals, of flowers.

These strands of darkness encircle me,
so near yet so distant, I want them to leave,
let me be me, But they seem scared, hesitant.

My thoughts soar as everyone's do,
yet now they are pinned to the ground,
that magnificant eagle that once had soared,
has now been shot down.

I try to write as I always do,
Just can't seem to make any of it rhyme,
My thoughts left intact are but a few,
fears haunt my mind.

Illusions plague these hallowed walls, dead kings claim their thrones.
Trying to reach home before the darkness falls, Somewhere far away from home.

In the club!

Flashing lights and booming sound,
I caught her hand, then twirled her around,
Grabbed her waist, held her close,
Then quickly swept her off the floor.

The music around picked up it's pace,
I think she tripped upon my shoe lace,
I held her fast in a graceful move,
as the club around us began to groove.

My eyes slipped to her brilliant smile,
her blood red lips, her dancing style,
Driven on by the music around her I hopped,
Caught quite unawares as the music stopped.

Amidst hushed tones I heard commotion,
Most of us were caught midway through awkward motions,
from screaming out aloud, myself I stopped,
just to find myself face to face with a cop.

He smiles at me without humor in his eyes,
"Good lord!" is he going to tell me my rights?
What is happening? For what is this bust?
What could I be guilty for save a pelvic thrust?

They rounded us up like a flock of sheep,
then put us the vans and the police jeeps,
I assure you it's a pretty freaky sensation,
when you are being hauled off to a police station.

They took down my addresses and my contact information,
I think I already discussed the peculiar sensations,
Charges of obscenity were upon me I was told,
However now did that unfold?

It took some time, we were sent off home,
like fallen emperors sent back to Rome,
what we were and what were we now,
Man times change so quick and how!

I'm sure this exercise took a few hours at the least,
multiple policemen 'The moral police',
Objecting to the way we dance and the way we behave,
and about the late hours we keep they did debate.

Amidst all this I thought of them who in this system put their trust,
All those people praying and hoping for some result,
Some raped, some murdered others who lost their money,
And their guardians were busy doing this. Don't blame me for finding this funny.

Of Angels and Shooting stars

A road illuminated in the silver light,
the rains had left the world quite wet,
Walking along in the death of the night,
An angel it was that I met.

There she lay in the shadows dark,
troubled by the misery in her soul,
her halo mellow her body stark,
struggling to make herself feel whole.

Pearls of tears streamed from her face,
they made the world look bleak,
And when her eyes met my gaze,
I asked her why did she weep.

Said said she had got caught into the night,
And she was looking around for day,
but however hard she looked there was no light,
What more now could she say.

She once walked amongst us all,
an angel amidst the crowd,
and when she rose up to touch the sky,
She found herself in a dark cloud.

For a second suspended in the air,
then down to earth she fell,
Wondering if what she had done was right or fair,
Thinking wether or not to tell.

She said it was human that she had become,
due to a mistake that she had made,
No where to hide and no where to run,
and the memories just would not fade.

Though her tears were her's alone,
Not for herself were they shed,
for her prayers were aimed for someone else's home,
though difficult times lay ahead.

With a dry smile away she soared,
I saw her from afar,
Maybe she was an angel no more,
but I was gazing upon a shooting star.

Images - By the Hearth

The morning will come, I have been told,
But I don't see it there,
I am sitting here, crouched in the darkness,
wondering what is right and what fair.
The rains have graced the thirsty earth,
I know that smell too well,
But no fire graces this blackened hearth;
Maybe it needs new stories to tell.

You make a road map of my past,
No whites, no blacks, just filled with grey;
The anomalies that the darkness reveals,
Are so well hidden from the sun's rays.

I think back on what it is that I've done,
And the thoughts just go astray.
The mysteries of life and death yet to come,
They take my peace away.

I am a mirror, reflecting all I can,
A lamp to give all light,
And yet I happen to be that very man,
That gave up during his fight.

Love is a woman

Look into her eyes,
She is calling out to you.
She smiles upon a million beings,
but graces but a few.
Her scent is sweet,
her hands warm to touch,
her embrace is surreal,
her eyes say so much.


I say love is a woman,
and a beautiful one at that,
everyone seems to want her,
and she definitely knows that.
They throng to meet her,
catch a glimpse of her her face,
they dream of her at night,
the thought of her presence makes a million hearts race,
She knows that you want her,
she shows you she doesn't care,
but maybe she is thinking about you,
wishing that you were there,
She will blow you off with all her might,
it's said that you can never get love without a fight,
She will come into your life and make it a royal mess,
but till you haven't tasted her, you haven't tasted success,
for she will make you feel like a winner,
make you feel whole,
make you feel that prior to that,
you were just there, existing without a soul,
She will vex you with her little things,
make the alarm bells in your head ring,
she will make things wrong but still make them feel right,
to you she will give it her all but at the same time fight,
to hold onto her will be a war,
one well worth the prize,
for her you will fall,
and due to her rise,
though she is a beautiful rose,
her thorns will prick,
even then you shall hold her close,
happily take the risk,
She is the one that everyone wants ,
but she is there with you,
hold on to her with all your might,
least she elude you,
If you take her for granted you will find that she's gone,
as they say "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned",
you will think of her day and night when she is away,
wondering what went wrong, why you didn't ask her to stay.
I don't know if she will forgive you and to you ever return,
but I know you will look for her, on every corner every turn.
It's when you feel empty inside, you will know then,
Love is in fact a woman.

And if she does all this to you,
then you know that it's her
if anything is missing,
then in her guise is an impostor,
while for many she is an object of desire,
there are many others who desire her place.
Once she comes int your life, she will change your fate,
and her you will love and her you will hate,
she will confuse you,
still leave you helpless within,
and all of it will make sense when,
you realise that love is a woman.

Images - Musing by the seaside.

Standing alone by the sea,
catching a glimpse of what might have been,
feeling the wind call out to me,
Gently.

A trip down memory lane,
grabbing out to those thoughts, but in vain,
Innocence is what I feign,
Unsuccessfully.

All those days, where did they go?
While we ran fast, the time went slow,
receding into the evening glow,
Steadily.

Those flickery flames catch my eye,
ask me what's my alibi,
where was I when they lit up the sky,
Blindingly.

Grains of sand blow by my side,
as time seems to ebb not unlike the tide,
all those dreams still trapped inside,
Silently


Just when I think I can no longer cope,
the Orange sun reaches out to give me hope,
and with this hope my fears elope,
Stealthily.

Relics

Come here, come closer, Why are you scared?
I was once one of you, though i'm no longer there,
for though once in the sunshine, my walks I took,
towards the darkness is where I now look.

Flames have licked at what was left of my body,
Words have pierced the remains of my soul,
I can see the horror, it's reflected in your eyes,
won't you ever believe that once I was whole?

Throughout my existence I have been branded,
the weight of expectations has made me numb,
the halls of hope have slippery floors,
and to darkness have I finally succumbed.

I rise in glory as the phoenixes do,
revived from the ashes of my faults,
within seconds again, I burst back into flames,
and into the depths I fall.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words, they poison my blood,
and every second odd that my heart bleeds,
into my conscience they flood.

The day will come as my times runs out,
and I know that day the axe shall fall,
thought the castle of my dreams will age and crumble,
But my soul shall haunt it's hallowed walls.

Muse

You've seen me do it again and again,
I do it now and I did it then,
It's pain that I feel, this feeling I caress,
Till it feels so sublime that it causes no more distress.

The flames that lick my body make me feel clean,
They burn away some parts of me that are darker than they seem,
Every inch of my skin burns in those flames,
Even as the agony is washed away, I feel no pain.

Inside the inferno that I call my mind,
I still know not where my thoughts are aligned,
Those abstract emotions jealousy and despair,
Are they to leave me in a constant state of disrepair?

To integrity and hope I hold fast,
I wonder how much longer they will last,
Do I risk them? Do I risk getting lost?
Or do I stick by them obstinately, No matter the cost?

Abstract

Knocking on the door on a cold winters day,
six months already done, but still six months away,
The hustle bustle in this humdrum life still can be felt,
but then again you can feel the Ice melt.

The cold is gone, the sun is in.
it's too bright to ignore, you know you can't win.
the storm rages outside and ravages all thats there,
it's quite calm inside, silence reigns here.

Doves take the messages across,
some make it through, others are quite lost,
pigeons are but pigeons, they can't understand why doves,
are so keen to take them up on their turf.

Away in the darkness a steady heart thumps,
hearing it beat can give you goosebumps,
it working hard, draining out the despair,
No longer alone, it can feel the call of another one out there.